My mom told me that the loss of a loved one is like a high amputation–the loss of a limb–and the body responds physiologically to grief as it tries to make sense of what happened. Healing is physical, not just emotionally and spiritual. I agree with her.
Meanwhile, this is my favorite author regarding grieving. His work supplants the Kubler-Ross model, in my opinion, which is often misquoted.
“Each person’s grief is like all other people’s grief;
each person’s grief is like some other person’s grief;
and each person’s grief is like no other person’s grief.”
~ J. William Worden. Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy, Fifth Edition.
Hi Pat, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I haven't read Worden's book, although my impression has been that the schema put forward by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross might have been overly simplistic. I've added Worden to my reading list! :-)
And yes, Brahms is good, too (I especially like his sextets and viola sonatas). Dvorak's Cypresses are another favorite of mine...
At the time, her work was revolutionary, but one big difference is she had linear steps, or at the least that was what popularized. Worden has a set of tasks to accomplish; the order does not matter.
Yes, Brahms, Dvorak, Mendelssohn, Elgar, Gershwin, Copeland, Ralph Vaughan Williams, Sibelius, Grieg, Rachmaninoff, ...my faves run to a type. Less abstract, more with human voices and folk themes, telling stories.
When I was in college, I had an episode of depression that included suicidal thoughts - a lonely freshman. A boy in our co-ed dorm was playing something from Brahms on his record player (yes, ancient times). I sat in the hallway outside his room and thought if someone could make something this beautiful, life was worth living. Maybe saved my life.
I'm reminded of a beautiful and thoughtful book about loss and its relationship to creativity: "Henry Clay Frick: An Intimate Portrait", by Martha Frick Symington Sanger, who wrote: "... the eternal question. Had Frick not fallen into protracted mourning would he have created the Frick Collection? Or if he had resolved his grief, how would the Collection he created have differed? Creativity, I believe, is often the antidote for protracted pain and longing."
Excellent observation! Our inner landscape is often as mysterious as our outer world, but its exploration just as necessary. It’s “closest to us” (Nietzsche) but its depth is murky. Our best “ senses” for this is our feelings, not our ideas, which often keep us in the dark. Continue exploring - with self compassion - the best “anti-toxin of the soul.” (Hoffer)
Thoreau talks somewhere about exploring the inner world. For some time now I've been intending to write a post about that insight, but perhaps the best way to talk about it is to actually do the exploration in my own experiences and reflections...
Lovely and insightful. Thank you.
My mom told me that the loss of a loved one is like a high amputation–the loss of a limb–and the body responds physiologically to grief as it tries to make sense of what happened. Healing is physical, not just emotionally and spiritual. I agree with her.
Meanwhile, this is my favorite author regarding grieving. His work supplants the Kubler-Ross model, in my opinion, which is often misquoted.
“Each person’s grief is like all other people’s grief;
each person’s grief is like some other person’s grief;
and each person’s grief is like no other person’s grief.”
~ J. William Worden. Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy, Fifth Edition.
Applies to many personal issues.
BTW, Brahms is who I turn to for solace.
Hi Pat, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I haven't read Worden's book, although my impression has been that the schema put forward by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross might have been overly simplistic. I've added Worden to my reading list! :-)
And yes, Brahms is good, too (I especially like his sextets and viola sonatas). Dvorak's Cypresses are another favorite of mine...
At the time, her work was revolutionary, but one big difference is she had linear steps, or at the least that was what popularized. Worden has a set of tasks to accomplish; the order does not matter.
Yes, Brahms, Dvorak, Mendelssohn, Elgar, Gershwin, Copeland, Ralph Vaughan Williams, Sibelius, Grieg, Rachmaninoff, ...my faves run to a type. Less abstract, more with human voices and folk themes, telling stories.
When I was in college, I had an episode of depression that included suicidal thoughts - a lonely freshman. A boy in our co-ed dorm was playing something from Brahms on his record player (yes, ancient times). I sat in the hallway outside his room and thought if someone could make something this beautiful, life was worth living. Maybe saved my life.
I'm reminded of a beautiful and thoughtful book about loss and its relationship to creativity: "Henry Clay Frick: An Intimate Portrait", by Martha Frick Symington Sanger, who wrote: "... the eternal question. Had Frick not fallen into protracted mourning would he have created the Frick Collection? Or if he had resolved his grief, how would the Collection he created have differed? Creativity, I believe, is often the antidote for protracted pain and longing."
Thanks for the tip, Leif. I love the Frick collection, so I will seek out that book. And I agree about creativity as an antidote.
I can lend the book to you. We should schedule another visit soon. Your choice of location, but I am very happy if it should be our home.
Excellent observation! Our inner landscape is often as mysterious as our outer world, but its exploration just as necessary. It’s “closest to us” (Nietzsche) but its depth is murky. Our best “ senses” for this is our feelings, not our ideas, which often keep us in the dark. Continue exploring - with self compassion - the best “anti-toxin of the soul.” (Hoffer)
Thoreau talks somewhere about exploring the inner world. For some time now I've been intending to write a post about that insight, but perhaps the best way to talk about it is to actually do the exploration in my own experiences and reflections...
Beautifully expressed, Peter.
Thanks, Michael.