Yet, monkeys swing a lot because they’re good at swinging and birds fly a lot because they’re good at flying; it makes sense we’d do a lot of talking because we’re good at language. The real mystery is why so much of our speech is unsatisfactory. But a friend of mine who had been a monk for awhile tried the silent practice for about three months. He hated it. Go figure.😏
I come from a culture of talkers, story tellers, soapboxers, opinionated about everything, who speak without thinking, and commander conversations, which they consider battles to win or lose. So, I talk too much, but now I know it, and, working to get better.
My husband is a well-mannered watcher and listener. When he first met my father, my dad talked, nonstop, for five hours. Never asked Leif a question nor invited a response. I was there. When I chastised Dad, he said - Well, Leif plans to be part of the family, he better learn to interrupt.
I think it was Eric Hoffer who noted the paucity of information we have of the “small talk” of our greatest thinkers and doers. For our prosaic existence, it would do well to record or write down how and what they talked about, especially if they were interesting. How soon the quality of a good conversation disappears . . .
I hear your concern, Peter, and definitely find the Jerry Springer confessional-vomit approach to social media (and expression more broadly) problematic and distasteful. Yet, given how crucial genuine, sincere communication is for human connection, trust, and intimacy, I have some questions. What principles would you offer for guidance about why, when, how, and with whom one should talk? Talk need not cheapen, but can deepen, so rather than "remain[ing] silent about what was essential," is your post more a call for each of us to think before we speak, making sure that we're speaking about what's worth our attention and that we're making others visible in the process?
I hear you.😉
Yet, monkeys swing a lot because they’re good at swinging and birds fly a lot because they’re good at flying; it makes sense we’d do a lot of talking because we’re good at language. The real mystery is why so much of our speech is unsatisfactory. But a friend of mine who had been a monk for awhile tried the silent practice for about three months. He hated it. Go figure.😏
I come from a culture of talkers, story tellers, soapboxers, opinionated about everything, who speak without thinking, and commander conversations, which they consider battles to win or lose. So, I talk too much, but now I know it, and, working to get better.
My husband is a well-mannered watcher and listener. When he first met my father, my dad talked, nonstop, for five hours. Never asked Leif a question nor invited a response. I was there. When I chastised Dad, he said - Well, Leif plans to be part of the family, he better learn to interrupt.
I think it was Eric Hoffer who noted the paucity of information we have of the “small talk” of our greatest thinkers and doers. For our prosaic existence, it would do well to record or write down how and what they talked about, especially if they were interesting. How soon the quality of a good conversation disappears . . .
That is a great story about Leif and your dad!!
I hear your concern, Peter, and definitely find the Jerry Springer confessional-vomit approach to social media (and expression more broadly) problematic and distasteful. Yet, given how crucial genuine, sincere communication is for human connection, trust, and intimacy, I have some questions. What principles would you offer for guidance about why, when, how, and with whom one should talk? Talk need not cheapen, but can deepen, so rather than "remain[ing] silent about what was essential," is your post more a call for each of us to think before we speak, making sure that we're speaking about what's worth our attention and that we're making others visible in the process?
“Keep silence on my mysteries….”