Sources of Solace
In My Time of Grieving
It’s been a long two weeks since my dear Elisa passed away. It goes without saying that losing your partner in life is a harrowing experience. Yet in the midst of the darkness there are rays of light and sources of solace. Here are a few that have soothed me in my time of grief:
Care: Elisa was ill for quite a while and it comforts me to know that I treated her with the utmost care and did everything I could for her, as did her doctors, nurses, and other caregivers.
People: I am blessed with so many dear friends, relatives, and neighbors who have demonstrated their love and support by getting together for lunch, going for walks, inviting me to dinner, calling to talk, and consistently checking in. My gratitude runs deep.
Beauty: I’ve been immersing myself in music, painting, and sculpture (somehow my feelings are too raw for literature). Writing an elegy for Elisa was also a healing act; I did the same thing 25+ years when my father died. At least for me, shaping my emotions into patterned speech is a way of honoring and memorializing the dear one I’ve loved and lost.
Nature: Early every morning I’ve been walking our dogs for 45 minutes or more in the big, empty open space behind our house. Being among the trees, squirrels, deer, birds, and grasses is such a tranquil way to start the day.
Activity: Perhaps paradoxically, keeping busy can be calming. There is so much I need to do right now that getting things done helps me stay grounded.
These sources of solace don’t fill the hole in my heart, but they do help to ease the pain somewhat.
